What a Woman Wants: Learning the Code Behind What a Woman Says Before Valentine’s Day

13 Feb

I’m a pretty direct woman. I pretty much say how I feel when I feel it. I try not to use code language when talking to anyone, but I must say, I sometimes fall victim to the passive-aggressive conversation that everyone hates. In an effort to keep all men out of the dog house this Valentine’s Day, I’m sharing this email I received from my Uncle Greg. Please share with others so we can save all the men on Valentine’s Day and the rest of the year.

(1) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

(2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

(3) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with “nothing” usually end in “fine.”

(4) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don’t do it!

(5) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of “nothing.”)

(6) That’s Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a woman can make to a man. “That’s okay” means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how you will pay for your mistake.

(7) Thanks: A woman is thanking you; do not question or faint. Just say you’re welcome. (I want to add in a clause here: This is true, unless she says “Thanks a lot,” which means that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all.  DO NOT say “you’re welcome” as that will bring on a “whatever.”)

(8) Whatever: Is a woman’s way of saying …Go to Hell!

(9) Don’t worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking “What’s wrong?” For the woman’s response, refer to # 3.

And that’s life in a nutshell. I can also tell you that just by saying “Yes, dear” to anything your wife says keeps you from hearing any of these responses above. Just sayin’. J

MommaNut

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3 Responses to “What a Woman Wants: Learning the Code Behind What a Woman Says Before Valentine’s Day”

  1. Debbie February 13, 2012 at 7:11 pm #

    Did I read this correctly…. it came from Uncle Greg? Whatever….! 🙂

    Like

    • MommaNut February 13, 2012 at 7:17 pm #

      You did read that right, Aunt Deb! I came right from your hubby!

      Like

  2. PoppaNut February 13, 2012 at 8:23 pm #

    Im just going to say I love you honey!! : )

    Good Job Uncle Greg!!!

    Like

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