Mommy Lies: Speaking the Truth about Motherhood

29 Apr

When I was pregnant, I counted down the days to my maternity leave. I thought, “Three glorious months where I just get to focus on me and my family.” I had all these visions of taking naps with baby, going on picnics as a family, not speaking one word of work talk and just really reveling in this stay-at-home mommy mode.

Enter child. Reece had a different plan for us. Instead of spending time napping together, we spent time bouncing … and bouncing … and bouncing. Reece’s acid reflux meant he hated to lay down, screaming at the top of his little lungs when we changed his diaper or switched his clothes. So, the baby carrier became our best friend. I would literally wear Reece around the house for hours, bouncing and swaying every which way until he found comfort. I am now completely skilled at cooking dinner and folding laundry with a baby strapped to my front side.

Bouncing at a Baby Shower

Bouncing at a Baby Shower

And instead of going on picnics as a family, PoppaNut and I spent time driving around Tampa Bay together, getting Reece to settle down and take a much-needed nap. Sometimes, the car ride was the only way he would sleep. We’d let the road take us, sometimes to the beach, sometimes on an old country road, anything to put him to sleep. One afternoon, we drove to the Skyway Bridge and back, allowing the two of us to strategize our next plan of attack against the alien in the backseat.

Planning Our Attack

Planning Our Attack

People would ask how maternity leave was … “Don’t you just love not having to go to work?” they’d gush. Sometimes I would tell the truth … “this stay-at-home mommy thing is a lot harder than I thought! And my maternity leave is nothing like I thought it would be. We are in doctor’s offices all the time, I swear our baby hates us and all I talk about is poop and puke. HELP ME!” But people started to look at me crazy, and this is when I learned that all mommies lie to each other.

Well, most mommies lie to each other. I have some really close mommy friends who I can talk to, and I certainly tell PoppaNut the real truth! But I learned that most moms tell each other a whole host of lies about perfect children, blissful rest and spotless homes, and I was the oddball revealing the dirty truths of motherhood (at least for me). In fact, I started to think I shouldn’t go to certain things like baby showers. I mean, who am I to freak out a new mom with tales of acid reflux and colic? Shouldn’t I just play along?

And this is when I realized the true meaning behind, “The truth will set you free.” And it certainly did. My first moment of truth was over Long Island Iced Teas with PoppaNut. Maybe it was the liquor or maybe it was the warm breeze at the outdoor café, but I revealed my deepest, darkest secrets about motherhood and waited for PoppaNut to gasp in horror. I told him how hard it was, how I didn’t know what I was doing, how my maternity leave was never what I expected and so on. But instead of judgment, PoppaNut kissed me and told me he felt the same way. He grabbed my hand and reminded me we were team and we would get through it together.

Long Islands = Truth-Telling

Long Islands = Truth-Telling

And so the sharing continued. To new mommies and experienced mommies and everyone in between, I stopped sugar-coating it all. Now, I’m not staying I told only the bad parts; I just decided to tell the whole parts: the good, the bad, the ugly. I spoke MY truth, letting everyone take what pieces they wanted from my story and using it in their own life. And when I did speak that truth, I found that I made closer bonds with my friends, stronger connections with PoppaNut and found a new appreciation for the crazy land of motherhood. After all, there’s a ton of us going through the exact same thing at the exact same time.

I say those first few months helped me earn my motherhood stripes. And the memories of that time are starting to fade, and I’m left feeling a bit nostalgic of it all. Wow, we really did make it through it together and we are at the point where we can (almost) laugh at it all. And that’s life in a nutshell.


3 Responses to “Mommy Lies: Speaking the Truth about Motherhood”

  1. Debbie Orlando April 30, 2014 at 3:06 am #

    Hey Mindy, I can relate! Motherhood can be extremely tiring. Being a Mom is one of the hardest lessons learned as it’s a “learn as you go experience! ” It’s also the most rewarding thing you’ll ever do! Hang in there, the challenges change as they age but they’re all worth it!


  2. chicachicababies May 6, 2014 at 11:56 pm #

    Love this. I think parenting would be easier if moms would start being more candid with each other and do less comparing/judging! It’s hard – some days ALL I want is a week long break from my babies.


    • MommaNut September 30, 2014 at 7:03 pm #

      I’m with you. Honesty is the only way!


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: